Memory Backup
by gDeIpVhIrNoEtt
Summary: Giftfic for Raben. In the occasion of the universe demanding identification. demanding justifications to our existence, to our relationship. It's two hours to Cecil's birthday and Kain must indulge all his question-game whims. AU-ish, mild Kaicil yaoi.


Long time, eh?

Happy Birthday to Lady Raben =) This giftfic is one day late, but oh well. Blame my seasonal shipping, my seasonal writing styles and evil exams! And procrastination. I know this is a totally new writing style that I haven't done before but I figured this was the best way to deliver this fic. After much experimentation (and headbanging and hairtearing) I was able to give birth to this creature. Maybe I will post a blooper version and behind-the-scenes piece for this one soon.

For those who actually follow on my other fics (if you people exist hahahahaha), I just wanted to note that it will most probably take me a while to finish Enfin - it is currently quite difficult for me to write any Kaicil thanks to my seasonal writing styles (hence the sloppiness of this one, -gomen-) - I promise no quick thing but I PROMISE, PROMISE PROMISE I'm not abandoning it. It's such a dear. Also, Born FREE is also going to be on hiatus for the next half-year. What is coming up, though? I'm quite occupied with an attempt for a Sephesis fic which I'm working really hard on to post this month.. and also have a YunJae fic to finish.

Thank you so very much to all my readers, viewers, favers, commenters. I very much appreciate kudos and faves, I just wanted to say that they truly make my day. I love you all, even if you hate me T_T

And this is most probably the cheesiest thing I've ever written, even if it's Kaicil and my Kaicil is cheesy by standard haha. I have lost count of how many giggles were well...giggled into the yaoi void..

Many thanks to Lady Raben who helped me with the German translations and brainstorming and being such an amazing creative and muse reservoir (I can never thank you enough!) and the best idea-listener ever. This fic was supposed to be a surprise and haha a generous portion of it actually spilled. The whole thing? ALMOST!

This is gdeiph delivering more and more cheesy and unbelievable gayness to my victim readers,

I hope you enjoy.

* * *

 _Memory Backup_

* * *

· Unsere Augen

1 Je ne sais quoi

2 (this is an ineffable something that renders our eyes truly unique)

3 Kain softly berates Cecil and as gently as downy flake tells him off: "Oh, you lie. We both know you've come up with a hundred different explanations for my eyes." _They're strung so beautifully, one ocean-resplendent comet flowing to the next. You make them glide, flare, skyscrape, whatnot…_

4 So Cecil asks, "À la folie – that's your favorite one, isn't it?"

5 (to insanity)

6 "Short and to the point, yes," Kain hums and the vibrations resemble gurgling comets. maybe Cecil kissed his descriptions into Kain's lips, breathy and gapless into his throat and that's the only explanation he'd think of.

7 Kain is satisfied with this. "As you wish." _And that's how you say "I like it too."_

 _And maybe exchanges of words like these is how Kain's eyes gain stars even if his eyes will always be dark_

8 _And maybe entrustment of sincerity, intense soul-baring as such is how Cecil's eyes gain insurmountable power._

9 "Why do you hate sunlight?" Cecil asks Kain. He can be shameless with questions tonight because it's two hours to his birthday, and they can play every single variation of every single question game Cecil likes.

10 "I can't stand it." Cecil probes for more. Cecil kisses him.

11 "So kisses are your default penalties for not answering enough?"  
"Yes, and it looks like your lips are going to be swollen at this rate."  
Kain smiles. The young wrinkles on his eyes show. "Fuck that, just continue."

· Der Mund

1\. "No offense but German isn't so beautiful. The way the words sound," Cecil says.

"It's not like I speak beautiful things, Cecil." Profanity, sarcasm-laden lips..

2\. "How long do you like your kisses?"

"You already know," Kain's sigh isn't that of exasperation. it's just rutted by sufficient disquiet.

"This is actually the first time I've asked you this."

3\. " _C'est pas la mer_ à _boire_ , please answer me," he's already tempting Kain into another kiss. He also doesn't hold back a prying bite. " _Incontournable?_ "

4\. (something you can't do without experiencing)  
"How you do it is fine. Yea, something I can't do without, Cecil."

"So my lips are like a spectacle or a carousel?" Cecil finds this cute-ish, apparently.

5\. "No, they're a necessity."

6\. _Maybe this is how we both came to life, breathing in each other, rawest heartbeats gifted from lung to lung._

7\. _It's the only possible explanation._

· Das Ohr

1\. "Sweet words or sweet nothings?", crystal-clear is Cecil's next question, even if he knows they exactly aren't the kind that Kain likes. Straightfoward, yes – but the sheer demand of choice, the unnecessary extremity that attracts Kain's hate -

 _I know you're thinking that sweetness can be real as well.  
"Leave nothingness to nothingness," look, that's exactly what your eyes are saying right now._

 _2._ "You're being so sentimental today, it's getting nauseating in all honesty – "  
Purple lips patch up the second-skin abrasion of chin. jaw. neck.  
We could say 100% healing water and 100% beautiful electricity.  
coexistence and juxtaposition – the overthrow, the struggle.  
the mind-boggling haul.

 _3._ Cecil gently bites down Kain's lower lip. Cecil's mad.  
bullets disguised as pastel butterflies, whizzing through the self-protective net of Kain's soul.  
Of course, Kain avoids Cecil's eyes.

 _4._ Their eyes still lock. These are the instances when it's less embarrassing for Kain to leave his soul exposed, because insisting on hiding it would garner more intense attention and thus get him more flustered.

 _5._ Cecil likes this. Cecil kisses him again. Cecil aligns their hips. It's all shock torrent, salvo of relentless volcanic thunder. _This is the position – well, a resting one - of our bodies where everything is astatic enough. satisfying._

 _How can that be,_ Kain half-wonders half-curses to himself, _when it's not only me here who can't breathe?_

6\. It's a while before Kain is himself again. _Though I don't know when I am most myself._ Azure-teal eyes, the world all in oblique perspective, turn to the curve of Cecil's ear. then the toned outlines of Cecil's shoulders, currently sciagraphed with moonlight. Everything is all black lines and dots of sketchy actuality even if Kain recalls moonlight to be illuminating. white, the eliciting kind of resplendent.

7\. _There's always something unintentionally loxotic with the world when you're there._

8\. "Sweet words," Kain finally answers. _I believe in them, perhaps pathetically. Or unexpectedly._

· die Schulterblätter

1\. "Are we still playing this interrogation game, Cecil? We can always fuck like normal, you know."

2\. The invitation does not seduce Cecil. "It's almost my birthday. In two hours. And you must indulge me," each phrase is interposed with a gentle shoulder squeeze.

3\. It's Cecil saying, _You must let me have you like this._

4\. Kain would rather describe it as Cecil giving a go on leashing his currents, loving hand wrapped on shoulder corners – and Kain wants to tell Cecil that they're more spiky earth than ocean waves you don't want to lose –

5\. So Kain gets on top of Cecil.

6\. And this is how Cecil responds, angel-seductor holding the mithridate: "Are you stronger than me?"

7\. "It doesn't really matter to me and I'm sure you think the same."

8\. Eye contact meant unbelievable hazes. simply put, opia. and kisses neither can't decide if they really happened or not. In this case, not until Cecil lifts his arms and lazily half-massages Kain's shoulders.  
 _Ça va aller, ne t'inquiètes pas_

9\. (It's going to be all right, don't worry)

· die Hände

1\. It's Kain who asks this time: "Did you ever really like the way I kiss the back of your hands? Your wrists?"  
"Quite honestly, yes," and Kain decides he likes the way Cecil hums a random note when he nuzzles his neck. a unique note for every newly-charted angle: Cecil put combination-probability tables to shame when it came to this. maybe at least seven hundred different angle-timing-perspective-contact length combinations in just an hour.. each one painfully inimitable..

2\. "You're the only person who knows I have three birthmarks lined up after each other there," _sincerity and pacts and possibly-perfervid indexes of "I've entrusted this and that and also these to you"_ – "The ones that bridge my pinky and middle finger."

3\. This is Cecil's realization in turn: while Kain thrusts, if Kain's hands aren't deathgripping his waist then they're holding onto Cecil's upper arms.

4\. "Grips," Cecil whispers, sharing his muse after Round Three, "They tell marvelous stories."

5\. _Especially mine_ , Kain is checking if there's still enough lube for a Round Four.

6\. "Especially yours, Kain," Cecil affirms.

7\. There is sufficient lube for Rounds Four and Five, and possibly even Six. Cecil squeezes Kain's hands remarkably tighter as they go again.

8\. _Ne prends pas froid_

9\. (Don't get cold)

· die Flügelknochen

1\. Kain is expecting "Where would you go, where would you travel if you could fly anywhere you wanted to…" but Cecil asks, "Why do you look so depressed?"

2\. This pisses Kain off, because Cecil's making himself sound like a stranger. _As if you don't know me, Cecil. As if you don't love me enough._ "That's it," the subsequent untangle and untogetherness suddenly becomes easy. Kain gets off the bed, "I'm not doing this anymore."

3\. But Cecil switches off the lamp to deter his lover storming out of the room. As if to aid him, the trees in front of their window sway frantically in tandem and bar moonlight's entrance.

4\. Maybe this added some more momentous credibility to Cecil's "It's perfectly okay. I know you don't really like talking about yourself. I'm here and I will be here even if you want to rest in the dark for a while."

5\. "You're the one who turned off the lights," Kain points out with an okay laugh. _Maybe it's just because you're way too bright. resplendent. And I'm just this bucket of darkness, hahahaha_

6\. _"Just fly_ ," Cecil's unbelievable sixth sense catches him again.

 _7._ _L'ombre sera derrière toi_

8\. (The shadow will be behind you)

9\. _N'importe où_

10\. (It matters not where)

11\. _I will be with you_

· die Taille, die Hüftknochen

1\. The carpet muffles Cecil's decisive footstep to about 99%. Before Cecil takes another step, _before Cecil comes too close again_ , Kain grabs the reins to break the silence. "How did you come to love me?"

2\. He's quite unsure of how he sounds. If Cecil asked him to repeat his question, he knows he just wouldn't be able to.

3\. Cecil picks up on the queue: this is his mini-trial if Kain was to allow him to touch his body again.

4\. _Vouloir c'est pouvoir_ is the expression that comes to their minds.

5\. (When there's a will, there's a way)

6\. "Ah," Cecil answers," I know. You're going to ask me to show you that I do. And how much." He gently re-holds Kain from behind: close proximity while standing was always a different thing…

7\. Especially now that Cecil is rubbing circles on Kain's hipbones. _When did he start doing that.._

8\. "It's just like how 100% white decided life would be better 50% white and 50% black instead."

9\. They touch each other like it's their first time all over again. It's unspokenly decided that Round Five is going to be lubeless. the blistering kind of raw, so brutally-true that it's the heartwrenching sincerity that will make it hurt and not the justifiable aching tissue.

· der Kiefer

1\. But this is still incomplete for Kain – just more unfinished rather than insufficient. "Should things screw up with me, how much would you regret putting up with everything you did so far?"

2\. Cecil doesn't kiss him. just looks at him strong and hard like a breathtakingly-intricate headdress reminding you that it's still made of iron and titanium and metal despite the sheer splendor.

3\. "Yes, there will be complications…but to be honest…"

4\. Ah ouais quand même

5\. (even though, even so, anyway)

6\. Kain tries to blur his smile with a sigh.

7\. Fairly enough, Kain gives in.

8\. It's 12:00 A.M.

9\. "Happy Birthday, Cecil."


End file.
